Sunday, December 20, 2009

Shocking news!!!

when i am writing this post, i am talking to my late ex girl friend via yahoo messenger. yes, my late ex girl friend which i posted about our story few times before. i don't know how she came back, but having lost her memory, she didn't have a clue about me. that's good news for me because i don't want her to suffer anymore, and i'm glad that she's back. i hope that she will live a happy life after this. now, i can smile a bit, thanks..

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Considering retirement

I am considering retirement from all kind of sports, probably for life due to some problems that I’m still having after a year passed by. I’ll miss futsal and football for sure, and some other sports that I played before with you and others, but living my life for my family is second to none than playing sports, so I’m considering retirement for good cause. I hope that you can keep this to yourself only and not telling others, because I don’t want people worrying sick about me. Even if I not here nor there with you, I’ll always be there in your heart, hopefully so..

I'm back

It’s been a while since my last post, but now I’m back. Think I should apologize to my dearie blog, coz she probably miss me so much I wouldn't expect. And to my fellow reader too, I know that you all are waiting for more from this silly fella, hence I hope you all will enjoy reading. I don’t know why I didn’t update as much I as like, just not feeling right to write. Many things happened to me here and there, but supposedly I tell you some.


Currently doing my final year thesis with a lots of setback,

Please don’t tell my supervisor or else I’ll get a whack.


Gone back to my hometown, taking care of my sick father,

Forgot the date, hence the day I couldn’t remember.


Took care some of my late girlfriend’s wish, but not all,

The pain is still there, hiding behind the wall.


I’m losing a little bit of creativity to write, and the ideas aren’t flowing like it used to be, so I’ll just cut it short. Do wait for my next post, glad to be back writing again, hope the ideas come soon so I can make your day better.

p/s I'm really losing the creativity, damn

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha

sempena Hari Raya Aidiladha yang jatuh pada hari Jumaat yang mulia nih, blogger nak ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha kepada semua umat Islam, yang membaca blog blogger nih, mahupun yang tidak. blogger akan balik ke kampung halaman blogger kat JB pada keesokan harinya dengan menaiki kereta Honk-da bersama-sama adik beradik blogger. doakan keselamatan kami semua dalam perjalanan pergi dan balik. amin

Kereta...(entah apa-apa)


buat apa pakai scuderia ferrari,
kalau beli guna duit curi

buat apa pakai volvo,
kalau dok buat kerja 'kotor'

buat apa pakai mercedes,
kalau dok biak nyamuk aedes

buat apa pakai BMW,
kalau duit IOU

buat apa pakai mitsubishi,
kalau malas nak cuci

buat apa pakai fiat,
kalau nak bangun subuh liat (terasa..huhu)

baik pakai saga,
murah dan bergaya

baik jugak pakai exora,
hati pun gembira

baik pakai perodua,
kereta jenama negara ma

baik pakai subaru,
entah, aku pun tak tahu

baik pakai citroen,
balik umah layan sinetron

buat apa hang baca,
kalau hang tak suka? kuang3x

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A-Z

Apau itu aku, anak bongsu

Bukan nama sebenar, buncit

Carila sendiri, Championship Manager

Dah dapat bagitau

Expresi-diriku, ek eleh

F***** namaku

Garang, geli-geli

Hati kristal, hati batu, hati-hati di jalan raya

Itu fakta, insyaAllah

Jadi diriku, jangan bilang tidak

Kapten bola sepak SAKTI, keras kepala

Lack of focus, lack of confidence and concentration

MAHER@pengawas sekolah, mobsters

Ntah, Nadia(2 orang adik angkatku)

Ohm, member kamceng waktu sekolah

Pendendam, perasan

Qwerty keyboard laptopku

Resah gelisah

Sunyi, sepi, sedih, S******(nama late xgf), sepet, sensitif, serabai, sempoi, selambe

Tanpa cinta, tough

Ulat bulu dah naik daun.., usaha lebey(ditujukan kepada yang berkenaan)

Valiant, vicodin

W**** nama bapaku, whatever perkataan ku suka, warcraft

X-ray tulang tibiaku retak

Yawn..

Zzzzz

Am i haunted?

Last night I couldn’t sleep, felt like something’s wrong. It’s damn cold, even without the fan switch on, I’m freezing. I had a dream bout my late ex-gf last week. I couldn’t tell bout it exactly as it was too shallow for me to remember. She was standing there, unmoved by my presence. Cold and pale as if she was just woken up from the dead. She ain’t looking at me, I wonder why. Thought it was because she hated me so much for the things I did to her. She’s still wondering up here in my mind. Guilt is probably the word that makes me still can’t brush her away from my memory. Haven’t forgiven myself for what I did to her. With final project thesis due end if this month, still stuck at chapter 1. These days with hectic and disarray schedule, pending subject just started, final exam just concluded, lack of focus and confidence, wish I can just graduated straight away.

P/s referring to my ‘yesterday’ post, the girl is not my x-schoolmate.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What a bullshit?

Haven't update you for a while, so sorry that I’m kind of busy and got no idea to write although there's many thing happened to me the whole week before. Tomorrow I got ISWO final exam, and the next day I’ll be starting my Linux classes which has been put on hold due to KLMU's management problem(s). I’d planned to go back to my hometown after the exam, but due to this matter, I need to stay back until it’s cuti-cuti Malaysia (eh silap, Hari Raya Haji holiday), damn bullshit, isn’t it? Well, that’s for now, going to do some revision, although feeling very dizzy and sleepy.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tuesday's morning

This morning I went to ISWO class, a little bit late, but better late than never, right? Got the tips for final exam paper next week, and submit the assignment given. Took morning tea break at the Mishan’s with Alee & Karun, simultaneously thinking of having lunch altogether. Having 2nd thought, and changed my mind, lunch at my foster mum’s café at EON’s. There’s her granddaughter, Malay mix nigga genes, and I took her in my arms. Mariam@Maryam (don’t know which way they spelled it), she’s dark, with curly hair and got big eyes. Gave her milk in the bottle after had my lunch, and she’s like falling asleep. Cuddled her close to my chest to comfort and make her warm, but suddenly she’s awake. Try to feed her milk, but she didn’t want to, and started disgruntled. Her granny took her from me, and tries to feed her some soft biscuit, but she started to throw up. I like kids, and I wonder when I’ll have my own. My foster mum, her daughter and few of my friends told me that I looked like a father, I wish too…

Last Night

Last night, my friend and I went to Ampang Sports Planet to play futsal for 2 hours against his friends plus a few foreigners. Physically and fitness aspect, we were totally outmatched by the foreigners but technically and strategically, we’re even. I didn’t play well in attacking mode as my shots always and always went astray. I’m quite upset with my performance but I did very well when defending, that’s probably because I’m a naturally defensive kind of player. It was a very tiring night but enjoyed the game. The consequence of playing the match is getting a recurrence ankle problem (slightly twisted, but bad), aggravated knee injury (ligament and knock), back injury (slipped disc during last year KLMU’s sports carnival and etc. I’ll be playing as long as I could, even when my playing style has made my body takes it toll, because I love this game, once dreamt of playing for the national side, and still. Going to have my dinner, see ya soon

Yesterday

I was just taking my bath when suddenly I remembered about something that happened yesterday. I was going to English class at 2pm just after having my lunch at EON cafeteria. when going up on the lift to level 4, I saw a girl who I thought was my x-schoolmate, I asked her if she got class, but then she gave me a 'look', and her friend behind her also gave me a 'look', then I’m having a thought, is she or isn't she my x-schoolmate? I’m damn sure that she’s my x-schoolmate, but the problem is, she never answer my question, and her friend and she gave me a ‘look’, so now I’m not pretty sure if she’s my x-schoolmate. I felt a little bit embarrassed, but I just played a macho guy, hehe.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Nyum-nyum

aku tgh mngidam kuih batik, ada spa2 yg sudi buat kuih batik utk dmkn oleh aku x? hehe.. aku tgh xde citer nk story, so post kali ni, aku citer psl kuih-muih yg aku ska ngap. skrg aku tgh mngidam kuih batik, mntk2 ada la esk lusa yg pos kuih batik kt aku, amin. bese klu g psr mlm, aku cri popia grg dlu, ps2 kuih pelita, ps3 kuih seri muka@seri wajah. ni la kuih-muih fevret aku klu korg nk tau, klu xnk tau, spa suh korg bca, ekeke. aku pn ska jgk mkn baulu, kuih tart nanas, karipap, cekodok cekadak, kuih lopes, adoi, trasa sgguh lapa skrg.




p/s mls nk ejas pics

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Well-written but not well-spoken

I’ve been writing in English for a while, and I’m glad that people told me that I’ve improved a lot. It’s very flattering and nice compliment when it comes especially from your English lecturer. Thanks to my father who has been an imperial figure who taught me English when I was still so young. He asked me to read NSTP rather than Metro or Berita Harian. It has proven that by only reading papers (with the help of dictionary, of course), and lots of it, you can be very good at English. I consider myself as just above average, I’m still learning, new words, how to use it in certain sentences. But I think that I’m just good when writing, not orally. The day that I had my mock interview with Sir Mus, I was kind of nervous. I couldn’t speak as the words wouldn’t come out or maybe I’m just whispering at the time. It’s irritate me that day before the interview, I was feeling confident and had the ideas to answer to questions asked, but unfortunately it hasn’t been good as expected. I’m very upset with my performance, really because I knew that I could do hell lot better. Out of words, be back later. Bye

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Anger management

Hey there, my name is apau, I’m an anger prone person. I think that I need to join an anger management program. I need to control my anger before it brings me down. There are a lot of people who don’t know how bad it is when I’m in rage. The probably first thing I would do when I’m mad at someone is just keep quiet to myself, do my own thing or just stay in my room. I had once thrown a butter knife to my sister, smacked my brother with a chair and shout to people mostly when it comes to some disagreement. I don’t know what to say, but I really hate myself when realizing that I force people away, before noticing that I’m lonely. Many people have tried to help me contain my fury, they gave me advices that I hold for moments only. It’s damn hard for me to change my attitude simultaneously losing friends. I don’t talk to people about my problems though I wrote only to you. You are probably the best virtual mate I have now, because I can expressed all my feelings, without you saying it’s bad or good, whether it’s right or wrong. I never had a tell-all friend that I can share problems with, enjoy or suffer, during good or bad days, I just have me and myself to talk to. Got to go, I have few things to get done. See ya later, my blog..

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Hairstyle ayam togel









komen jangan xkomen

Bunga..

So close..

Am i too obvious of being too 'jiwang'?


You`re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I`m with you
So close to feeling alive


A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you`re beside me and look how far we`ve come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We`re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let`s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

Monday, November 2, 2009

Last weekend

i went back to my hometown last Friday with my brother. it was raining heavily and almost all the way back to my hometown. the road was very slippery and the visibility was quite poor. depart at 6pm, fetched my brother, and on the way back he submit his work to his friend in subang jaya. the traffic is quite heavy, we got stuck in it for about 1 and a half an hour. arrived in jb at 15 mins past 12 in the midnight. had our dinner very late and overslept till noon the next day. doing house chores, gardening, fixed the drainage, and finally went to the barber for a haircut(da macam ayam togel). i'll be waiting for your comments after i post my new hairstyle pics. yesterday, went back to kl at 4pm,took only 3 hours to reach bangi, where my brother and his family lived. i did 140-150kph on the road, but still felt like leisure driving. guess i have to go faster to feel the adrenaline pumping. after maghrib prayer, when to the ukm commuter station, bought ticket to putra station and wait, wait for about half an hour just for the train to arrived. took nearly an hour to arrived at putra station where my brother-in-law picked me up and went straight home. bathe, dinner and surf internet for a while, updating blog, but still haven't prepare for this evening assignment, hope everything went well even though i'm still unprepared.

Alamak

almk, ptg ni ada mock intrbiu, mati la aku. lgsg xprepare pe nk jwb utk esk. apa nk jwb eh? kpale da xde rmbut cm dlu, igtkn ilang serabut yg kalut kabut, tp rpa2 ny hnya ilang rmbut yg pnjg akibat rebond. hope lctrr aku bg soalan2 yg leh aku goreng pattaya. tggu post akn dtg ye. ada suprise nnti,chalo

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Hari-hari terakhir...



Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Happy and Sorrow


Last Saturday I went to Seremban, my eldest sister had a Hari Raya open house at her place. I was due to went there last Friday, but I have to accompany my other sister, which is 3-4 months pregnant. We arrived there 20 minutes past 1 in the afternoon. Had my lunch, then started to help them serving food and drinks, plus entertained the crowds who came. The clock has past 5 and we started to cleaned up the garage, play with my nephews and had dinner just before 7. Watched Cinderella Blues at 10pm, on channel tv3 which I quite enjoy the jokes, and knowing that the Red Devils won 2-1 against Bolton Wanderers, everything went very well until the next dawn…I was awake at 5, very early for a guy like me. I’m not feeling very well, it’s like my stomach want to explode. My gastritis problem has become worse. I had diarrhoea and start vomiting like shit. It took all the energy away from me, I felt like I’m going to faint. I couldn’t eat breakfast and was supposed to drive my sister to the KLIA. She was going back to Yemen and continues her work as a lecturer. But I end up at the back seat of the car, and lastly have to stay at home because of dizziness and vomiting. I took pills, and try to get some sleep. Didn’t switch on the fan but still I still feel cold, even with thick blanket covering me up to the neck. I went back to KL with my brother at noon, because tomorrow I got class to attend. I spend whole lot of time on the bed, trying to weather the unbearable pain and dizziness that makes me want to vomit. Took pills, and went back to sleep. Take bath, pray and sleep again. That’s what I’ve done for the past 3 days started from last Sunday. I couldn’t eat much, just having some fruits and Milo drinks. Still haven’t fully recovered from my illnesses but I went to class today. I wonder if my illnesses have to do with my ex girlfriend last days before she departed to a new life, maybe, probably, the utmost respect I thought about her too much.

Kau pergi...


19 October 2009, 6.04pm, I got a sms from my late ex-girlfriend little sister. In the sms, she wrote ‘she’s gone forever’. I couldn’t believe my eyes and started replying to her, and asked about the sms. She said that it was true, her sister has fallen and they are in grieving mood. I was… speechless, stared to the sky disbelieved. I haven’t said that I’m sorry about the fight last time we contacted, but now it just plain too late. Her sister somewhat blamed me for the passing, and I myself knew that I had a fraction if not too much in making my ex’s health deteriorated. She was just over 25 this year, too young and life so short to lived a happy life. And I, still haven’t change from being a jerk, even now has become worse.

P/s: you don’t have to recite prayers / doa / al-fatihah, because she was a Christian

Monday, October 12, 2009

diari seorang atan

Ada sorang budak namanya atan. Atan umurnya lapan. Atan berasal dari Kelantan, menetap di kg. pandan. Atan pergi ke sekolah di kampung jiran menaiki sampan. Atan terlupa nak buat kerja sekolah yang cikgu bagi, cikgu atan marah atan, atan kena denda keluar kelas pastu berdiri. Tapi atan relax je, buat selamba macam tak ada apa-apaMasa rehat, kawan atan ajak atan main batu seremban.

Atan : tak nak lah, nanti atan penat
Kawan atan : kenapa tak nak pulak?
Atan : ye la, nak main batu tu kena pergi seremban dulu, kan jauh, sebab tu atan tak nak, nanti penat
Kawan atan : yela yela (setan punya atan)

Balik umah, mak atan suh atan beli santan kat kedai, tapi atan pulang bawak buah rambai, serabai..

Petang tu atan main bola sepak, kat padang yang becak, penuh lopak, diterjah tercampak, balik ke rumah berbau hapak.

Di malam yang kelam, suram dan dengan kaki yang lebam, atan duduk diam-diam. Berus gigi sudah, basuh kaki sudah, atan berdengkur mengharapkan mimpi yang indah-indah

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Baru tahu semalam

smlm adk xgf aku sms, bgtau akk dia(xgf aku) msuk icu, tenat sgt ktany. aku xtau nk ckp pe, xtau nk wt pe sbb last aku msg xgf aku, kitorg gduh. nk g jnguk pn jauh, kt sbh. so aku ckp la kt adk dia, aku tau dia skt, sbb dia ada bgtau, n dia ckp hyat dia pn xlma(kta doc yg rwt dia). aku suh adk dia byk2 brsbr, n doakn smoga dia smbuh sprti sdiakala, aku pn klu leh xnk la prgduhn ari tu jd kngn trakhir dia dgn aku. so hopefully dia akn smbuh n cntct aku blk, brkwn mcm sblm2 ni. skt pale aku mmkirkn..

Friday, October 9, 2009

Pure stupidity or plain unlucky?


yesterday, i skipped morning class but went for the evening class, but to my horror, the class was canceled. i went back home sad, feeling angry because not any of my classmate told me about the cancellation. it's half past 4 o'clock and after doing my Asar prayer, i did the house chores. cleaning up the house using the vacuum cleaner and after that mopping the floor. i lived in a condo near government quarters, 10-15 minutes to my college (if rempit, will be there in 5mins). there is a gap between the grill and house door about 2 sq/ft. the door will automatically locked and you need to use the key to open it from outside. my sister and her husband were out, and i was alone cleaning up the place. when i was mopping the gap between the door and the grill, i forgot to put something between the door, so it couldn't be close. suddenly, hard wind blows and the door shut leaving me there stranded between them. damn, i'm cursing my luck and my neighbour went outside to litter the trash and i asked for her hp to call my sister. she gave me her hp and called my sister. an hour later, i was released from the prison, hehe. prison, i love prison break

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Apa- apa tah


bila aku bosan, kekadang aku jadi setan,
bila aku terlalu memilih makanan, aku selalu kempunan,
bila aku tensen, aku dok diam2 dalam bilik,
bila aku marah, aku tumbuk dinding bantal dilapik,
bila kawan ajak main futsal, aku cakap no hal,
bila aku sakit kaki, aku lepak jap kat tepi,
tapi bila dah lepak, rasa nak main balik pulak,
bila aku sepi, aku suka nyanyi,
bila aku mati? aku pun tak pasti apa yang akan terjadi

Keguguran

akteli aku xtau nk tuleh pe utk new post sbb otak ku da blur. aku sdg(sbnrny suda lama) mngalami mslh keguguran rmbut, diulangi keguguran rmbut okey?bkn gugur kndungan, ekeke. stiap ari lps mndi, aku tgk kt lntai byk bebenor helaian rmbut yg trtggl, petah lg klu tgk dlm blik. rsany klu xspu smggu, mau pnuh je dgn rmbut ggur aku. aku xmau botak, tidak!!!!skian utk post trbaru

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

You Don't Know Where I When This September Part II

I couldn't sleep as there was a typhoon. The wind was so strong, that it makes the tree branches fell apart. Wondering there might be flight delay for tomorrow afternoon flight to Xiamen. Zzz. Before Subuh prayers, we woke up, eat some food and did the Subuh prayer, then went to sleep again. The prayers time there is about one hour earlier than in Malaysia. Getting ready to go to the airport at 9am and taking the shuttle bus to the nearest train station. Did the baggage check-up at the station and off we go in the express train straight to the airport. It’s raining and windy, but no typhoon. The flight was supposed to take off at 1250, but due to the windy conditions and other flight congestion, it was delayed till 1430. There was an angry scene while waiting at the gate where a man stumped his hand to the desk confronting the crew on duty. It took 1 hour and 20 minutes to Xiamen and while passing the Xiamen immigration, I was summoned to do health check-up. Fortunately I passed or else I might be quarantined for days or worst weeks. The weather is clear but the air smell stinks. We were picked up by the Pan Pacific hotel shuttle transport where they wait for nearly 2 hours because of the flight delay. The scenery was okay with few big and new buildings, old apartments and small houses. After room check-in, went straight to the room. It was superb, fantastic and fascinating, but not the room outside view. The television was huge, the apparel in very nice and silky, while the spacey bathroom has bathtub and see-through glass in the shower with shower head straight-up. I think it will probably be the same here in Malaysia but what is the purpose of paying big money to stay at the hotel if you have a home nearby, right? Breaking fast around 1815 and stayed put for the night. The next day we went out with a tourist guide. My sister bought an English- Chinese dictionary in case when needed. It is very hard to communicate with the Chinese fellas as they don’t speak or write alphabets. So we have to as the hotel staffs to write down the words in Chinese. We went for a boat ride enjoying the acceptable scenery of Taiwan territory which isn't much to tell. Stop at the other bank of the river where the historical buildings, monuments are situated. We didn't take the buggy van but just walking through the places (Java, British and Chinese consulate and etc). We watched a Chinese opera show like the ‘wayang kulit’ for Malays and did enjoy it. Go around places, taking pictures which few Chinese girls who work as guide there but they also didn't speak English much. There are also many restaurants with live fish, prawns, crabs and etc to choose from. Don’t know what to tell as they ain't many things to elaborate, but still did the walking and window shopping in a humid condition which is very exhausting. Buy a few things and went back to the hotel. My brother-in-law and I went to a Muslim restaurant to buy food for breaking fast. The food is quite different in taste, ain't that spicy, but just okay. The next day, we went out to Xiahe Lu Rd and Chang San Lu Rd for shopping, buying some souvenir and having hard times to find money changer even the local bank there didn't accept RM in exchange. My sister bought a tea set for herself and my aunt. Went around and then I took them to the Muslim restaurant that I went yesterday. Breaking fast there and went back to the hotel. Packing things up because tomorrow (18 September 2009) will be going back home. Fast forward….we are home. Breaking fast at the KLIA and wait for my other brother- in-law to pick us up and straight home. My other sister and I went straight to Seremban in other car parked outside my other sister place. Take my bath, do the prayers and packing my things up, waiting for my brother to pick me up to go back to our ‘kampung halaman’ in Bohor Bahru. Arrived at 0515, ‘sahur’ and then Zzz.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

You Don't Know Where I Went This September

12th September 2009 - a week before Hari Raya Aidilfitri, i went to Hong Kong(fragrant harbour). after sahur at my sister's place in Seremban, my father and my brother-in-law drove my other siblings, my nephews and me to the KLIA. 3 of my sisters, my brother-in-law and i departed from KLIA at 0915, estimated arrival at HK at 0100 by MAS plane. the MAS crew were kind and packed our breakfast for later breaking fast. i watched x-men origins : wolverine but didn't finish watching as there were to many announcement(due to turbulence), damn. when we arrived, the weather was good, but a little bit chilly. there aren't time difference between Malaysia and HK's, so there's no need to reset the time. we stayed at Regal Hotel in Kowloon for 4 days and 3 nights. the transportation are almost the same as in Malaysia, but there got trams (look like a train, but smaller and runs through the streets). the cab was very expensive, better take the bus/ tram / train(MTR).that night, we went out to the Victoria harbour, hoping to see the laser show, but to our dismay, the show was too much over exaggerate. we went sightseeing the next day, a road trip with other tourists in a small bus, probably a bigger van, whatever lah. drove around the buildings, up to the hill, The Peak they called it, although some says Victoria's Peak and The Peak Hong Kong. the view was quite breathtaking, after having some breathing difficulties because of the steep and slippery hill road, but not quite scary as Mount Buller hill road. the view was quite stunning if not for the haze covering up the air, but as higher as you get, the better the overall view of HK and the higher the rent/price of the properties. took some pictures here and there, and off we go to Victoria Harbour yet again. this time around, we took a sampan trip and go around the yacht, boats and huge ships. it's pretty amazing how they navigate the small sampan and huge ships through the channel. the last stop is Stanley Market. the place where we bought most of the souvenirs although we regretted because there's another place that we can get a lot cheaper which named is Ladies Market. when we were shopping in the Stanley's, i bought a shirt which has my name written on it, in Chinese. but of course, it doesn't come cheap. didn't bought many things, few shirts and a belt and that's for the day. we break fast at a small Indian/Turkish restaurant where it is situated deep in a old shops, very very very hard to find a Muslim restaurant if you aren't familiar with the place, quite scary though with so many niggers and girls with prostitute dressing. walking down the streets and enjoy the night scenery, we bumped into an old chinese man selling roses, originally from Malaysia,but has been reside there almost 40 years. the very last day in HK, we went all gun blazing(kidding) at the Ladies Market. i bought an Apple iPhone for my dad, which i owed my sister's bucks. they bought gifts for our uncle and aunts. owh yeah, we bought Crocs too. we took MTR train to Lantau Island. the train has three underground train levels, arrived on time, and frequent. actually we went to Lantau to visit the mosque and buy food at the canteen there, but the canteen is closed due to fasting month, so we have to buy elsewhere near the mosque and went back to the hotel. that night we packed things up and called it a day very early because tomorrow....You Don't Know Where I Went This September Part II

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Assalamualaikum buat semua pembaca blog the blogger ini. di sini, the blogger ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri buat semua muslimin dan muslimat yang menyambut aidilfitri yang mulia. the blogger juga ingin memohon ampun maaf jika ada terkasar bahasa, tersilap kata, terlanjur cinta (eh silap), terlanjur perbuatan yang tak manis dipandang, pahit diterima selama the blogger menulis blog ini sehinggalah aidilfitri seterusnya. moga semua dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki, raya depan the blogger mintak maaf lagi. selamat, selamat, selamat hari raya aidilfitri

Monday, September 7, 2009

Last night

last night, i got a pretty scary nightmare (da nama pun pretty scary nightmare, so mestila menakutkan, betul tak?). i took my meds and felt sleepy, fell asleep around 11pm before suddenly my phone rangs. my father called, talked bout few things then i went online for a moment, getting few things done and some revision. shutted down my laptop, and cuddled myself over the bed, with cold feet...and started dreaming. i was somewhere in the woods, near a village. i do not know what the hell i'm doing there, but maybe i'm just having a break from hectic student life. i wasn't alone, with few aboriginal kids playing hide and seek near me. there are also few men doing their daily jobs as hunter and etc. i started to hear some unusual sound, more like a growl, but i didn't pay attention to it although. all in a sudden, a big brown furry bear crawl through the bushes near. it was so close to me that i couldn't bear to move, even blinking. trying to stay calm but couldn't hide the fact that my knee is trembling, i'm sweating like sh!t. the kids still didn't notice the giant beast getting closer to them. i'd tried to warned them but the words couldn't come out, until it was in a split second that i decided to shout at it and throw a rock to turn it's attention to me. darn, i regretted doing that as it slowly turn and stare me deep in the eyes. i just couldn't explain the coldness and anger in it's eyes, just couldn't take my eyes of them. the kids have gotten into safe hands with the men while i slowly backpedalling without taking my eyes off the bear. when i felt that it is time to run, i ran as hard as i could and climbed up a tree. the bear followed me through as it waits on the ground before suddenly shaking the tree, to knock me down. i slipped and found myself in front of the standing bear, roared and stumped it's paws to it's chest. there's no way of escaping neither playing dead, it was in an attacking mode, swerving its paws to me and ....i'm awake. sweating all over the bed, listened to wind blows, i'm alright, it was just a dream, thank god it was. damn..

Friday, September 4, 2009

Happy Birthday

happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to ^-^,
happy birthday to you,

p/s sugar glider,hehe

Adoii sakitnye...

tersebutlah kisah yang berlaku di bulan posa. rasanya semalam, tapi pikir balik macam kelmarin, ntah la,maybe lusa kot,hmm. ari tu aku tak sedar nak bangun sahur, so apalagi, miss la kan. nak dijadikan cerita, aku diserang oleh gastrik, jahat btul gastrik nih, membuatkan aku nak buka je posa ari tu. tapi nasib baik la kan, aku dapat tahan.tapi lepas azan maghrib je aku terus makan,hehe. tadi petang time amik exam english, perut aku meragam, gastrik lagi punye pasal. berkriok-kriok bunyi perut aku, syahdu, huhu. tapi takpe, aku kan kuat. jap lagi aku nak makan, layan...

Finale examination

it has been started today, until 11th september 2009. 1st paper,english which is considerably easy or maybe i'm just too advanced (kalau gagal baru ko tau,hahaha).4 more to go, linux essential, database concepts, computer architecture and shell scripting. i'm worried bout my computer architecture and database lah, carry marks and mid term i didn't do as well as i should. pity me, time has past, i have to move on. i wrote this post because a good friend of mine asked me,' why haven't you update your blog?'. i told ^-^ that i have no idea whatsoever to write on my blog, so that's why i didn't update any. this is for you to read ^-^.happy reading

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan

da lama tak update blog, tengok pun tidak.sori ye suma, idea tak de.the blogger nak ucapkan selamat berpuasa buat semua umat Islam, baik di malaysia mahupun di luar negara yang mungkin membaca. the blogger agak busy dengan hidup, study, etc, hinggakan the blogger rasa cam nak demam je tiap-tiap maghrib.the blogger tgh penin nak siapkn repot english yg mggu dpan nk present+submit. tambah pulak lagi dgn final projek yg mcm sgkut kat proposal wlupun da 4mggu brmula. the blogger tgh ssh ati, ssh jiwa, ssh prasaan etc hingga apa the blogger taip pun mcm the blogger tak tau.the blogger tgh jiwa kacau, the blogger mintak maap, tumpang lalu, assalamualaikum

Monday, August 10, 2009

Punctuality problem in colleges


kindly answer the questionnaire above and send your views/opinions/whatsoever relevant (such as the cause and, effect and solution), and useful for me to complete my assignment. thanks 4 your cooperation

p/s this questionnaire is for current college/university students only. can email me at apau_zan@yahoo.com. do ask for more inquiries.




Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Di kala sepi

di saat aku sendiri, terfikirkan kamu,
aku menyanyi, menyanyikan lagu syahdu

bila dikenang saat dulu, kau dan aku,
aku rindu, tapi semuanya sudah berlalu

saat kita berkenalan, semuanya spontan,
kau ukir senyuman, hatiku tertawan

kala ku perlu kamu, kau menghilang,
hati terasa sayu, sakitnya bukan kepalang

di dalam mimpi, wajahmu pudar,
berlalu pergi, tanpa ku sedar

mengapa hati ini, masih mengingatimu?
setiap inci, walaupun ingin membenci kamu

bilakah akan, akan kutemu,
gadis pujaan, menemani hidupku

hati ini masih terluka, sunyi dan sepi,
tanpa ada cinta, hanya ilusi..

Tak tau nak letak apa

hai suma pembaca setia blog xpresi-diriku. da lama tak bercerita kat sini. first of all, nak berterima kasih kat suma yang bagi komen, support, nasihat etc, mekasih bebanyak. sebenarnya tak tau pe nak citer, melainkan the blogger baru balik kampung hujung minggu lepas. so bagi sesapa yang menunggu kat ym tu, sori ye tak inform. the blogger jugak ponteng kelas ari ni, disebabkan kemalasan tahap melampau tak nak describe. mintak maaf kat sir mus, english lecturer, hope sir jangan marah dengan confession ini. the blogger jugak tengah penin kepala dengan final projek yang belum bermula lagi, disebabkan mental block yang tiba2 melanda. the blogger melayan muvi yang dia tak penah tengok lagi sebelum ni yang bertajuk 'no reservation' yang mengisahkan seorang perempuan yang terpaksa menjaga anak saudaranya yang baru kehilangan ibu, sambil melewati hari-hari bekerja sebagai chef. the blogger juga melayan citer 'enchanted' berulang kali, sebuah musical muvi yang begitu penuh dengan 'x-factor' bagi jiwa2 jiwang seperti the blogger yang masih sunyi sepi sejak kehilangan orang yang penah dicinta. the blogger tak boleh tulis lebih2, coz nanti the blogger rasa sedih, suma nya jadi tak kena. ~tamat~

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Selalu Kalah

jelaskan padaku aku nak tau,
seberapa banyak yang kau perlukan aku,
membawa pasukan ini hingga ke mercu,
menangi pertandingan ini

kekalahan yang dialami,
seperti yang dulu-dulu,
mengapa selalu aku yang perlu kalah,
tiada nasib baik kah diriku,
asyik sangkut suku akhir,
mengapa ku yang harus selalu kalah,
tak baguskah aku untuk ke separuh akhir

mungkin sebab nasib tak menyebelahi aku,
mungkin juga memang bukan rezekiku,
untuk membantu pasukanku kalahkan mereka,
untuk menjadi juara

mengapa selalu aku yang perlu kalah,
tiada nasib baik kah diriku,
asyik sangkut suku akhir,
mengapa ku yang harus selalu kalah,
tak baguskah aku untuk ke separuh akhir

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Reunion pics

ni adlh sbhgian drpd gmbr2 smsa aku g reunion 85ivers Sakti kt ulu tiram













































p/s ats sbb2 yg sbnrny dpt dielakkan, wjh si polan xdpt dtnjukkan

Sunday, July 19, 2009

19 July 2009

i'm single, yet again

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Pathetic poetic

I met her online unintentionally,

She’s six years my junior would you believe me,

It takes time to get to know each other,

But felt that I known her forever


Its just over 2 months since I known her,

Almost two weeks we’ve been together,

On June 8th I wish her happy birthday,

Feels like it was just yesterday


She’s so sweet and happy go lucky,

While I’m the opposite such a cry baby,

When she smiles I felt like melting,

Damn exciting when we’re talking


She’s always there daylight and night,

Feel like the sun shining bright,

Sometimes there’s a thunder in rainy days,

It means like she need some space.


3rd of July she confessed she loved me,

And the next day we declared as a couple,

First week has been extremely happy,

All in a sudden we hit some trouble


Had a lot of headache, in the mean time of late,

Missing someone, the feeling isn’t great,

I love her, but sometimes I hate,

Wonder when it will fade.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Aku mahu pulang

aku mahu pulang, nukilan ringkas yang mengisahkan xxx, seorang pelajar kolej di Kuala Lumpur yang ingin pulang ke kampung halaman menjenguk kedua ibu bapanya. xxx yang berumur 24 tahun 5 bulan akan menaiki bas pada malam ini, dari stesen bas pudu, akan tiba di destinasi stesen bas Larkin, JB. xxx juga akan menghadiri reunion batch 85ivers sekolah menengah dot dot dot, bertempat di ulu tiram.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ahad, 21 Jun 2009

ari Sabtu malam Ahad ari tu aku ada citer pasal aku gi umah abang aku kat Bangi kan? so ni sambungannya. aku bangun kul 10 pagi rasanya, tapi tengok jam macam pukul 12 tengahari, hm entah aku pun tak pasti. masa aku bangun, langit gelap macam nak hujan. aku gi Bangi ni sebab nak gi Al-Ikhsan kat area perumahan depan kawasan umah abang aku. nasib baik, langit cuma gelap, tapi tak de rintik-rintik hujan, kalau tak basah la aku unless aku pinjam kereta abang aku tu. aku bangun terus mandi, siap-siap, tanpa breakfast aku terus gi kedai Al-Ikhsan tu. ada 2 branch kat situ, 1 factoryhouse, 1 lagi kedai biasa, tapi yang pelik, kedai biasa nya yang lagi banyak produk berbanding kat factory house tu. aku tau sebab aku gi check factory house dulu, baru gi kedai biasa, dan kat kedai biasa itu lah aku beli kasut futsal seperti di bawah.



ni la kasut yang aku beli ari Ahad lepas. belum rasmikan lagi, tinggal tunggu masa beraksi je. first aku tengok dalam paper ada iklan pasal sale kat Al-Ikhsan, tu la sebabnya aku sanggup gi Bangi semata-mata nak gi kedai tu. lagi satu sebab, gi Bangi ada anak sedara aku 2 orang, dapat lepaskan rindu kat dorang. dalam iklan tu, kasut futsal sale sampai harga paling rendah RM 99, tapi masa aku gi kedai, tanya salesgirl tu, dia cakap, tu untuk junior, so kecewa jugakla aku,huhu. harga kasut + stokin ni just over Rm 150, pokai jap aku, hm. kalau korang perasan, kasut jenama adidas, tapi stokin jenama nike, apa punya poyo la kan?salah aku sebab main kaut je stokin tu, my bad. persoalannya sekarang, adakah dengan memakai kasut + stokin ni, adakah..aku akan beraksi lebih hebat? aku akan lebih bersemangat? aku akan berlari lebih cepat? makin padu aku merembat? sasaranku menjadi makin tepat? akan lebih merasa lebih nikmat? jawapannya kena tunggu sampai perasmian kasut + stokin ni dulu k. ~end~





Rabu, 24 Jun 2009

ari ni tak de kelas, aku malas nak kuar beli lunch, so as usual masak berger special. pagi semalam aku tido lepas subuh, bangun kul 2 petang tadi. bangun-bangun je terus gi dapur siapkan barang-barang nak masak dan buat air neslo. da siap buat neslo, aku masukkan dalam peti sejuk, bagi sejuk. sambil aku masak berger, aku bakar roti dan gi gosok gigi dan basuh muka jap. 30 minit pastu, semua da tersedia untuk aku bedal. tapi kali ni, aku nak tunjuk gambar pe aku makan tadi, so tak de la korang semua bosan asyik membaca je kat blog aku nih.






gile kan aku ni, makan sekali 3 set sekaligus. bese aku masak 2 keping daging dan satu keping ayam. tapi yang special cuma 2 set je la, tu sebab termasuk telo sekali. so bagi sesapa yang nak tau, terliur pasal post aku yang dulu, ni aku bagi tau lebih kat korang dan bagi air liur korang menjejes, hehehe. aku tulis post ni lepas aku dinner, so nak citer gak pasal lauk dinner aku. biasanya tugas aku kat umah ni setiap hari ialah tanak nasi, akak aku pulak masak lauk. tadi dia masak sotong masak pedas dengan sayur salad + tomato + timun (sori la tak amik gambar). penuh perut aku,huhuhu. besok plan nak gi ampang main futsal, tapi entah la, have to wait until tomorrow. ~chiao~


Tuesday, June 23, 2009

TGI Friday's

Sabtu, 20 Jun 2009 - aku bangun tido kul 9.30 pagi, sebab anak-anak sedara aku ajak gi swimming. tapi aku sambung tido balik, dorang pukul aku, sepak aku, tarik rambut aku sampai la aku betul-betul bangun. bangun-bangun je, basuh muka, gosok gigi, breakfast sambil suap 3 orang budak-budak nakal tu. aku cakap, kalau dorang tak makan, tak leh ikut gi swimming, so dengan muka sedih + sayu, dorang terpaksa la makan roti taruk peanut butter yang aku buatkan. aku pulak makan burger. da siap breakfast, aku bawak la budak-budak ni gi swimming. sejam dorang berkubang kat dalam pool tu. jenuh gak menunggu, tapi aku sempat celup kaki sampai lutut je kejap. fast forward, sejam berlalu, sorang ni da bosan mandi + sejuk, ajak balik, tapi aku tanya 2 orang lagi, dorang cakap tak cukup, so tunggu la lagi beberapa minit. da swimming, aku bawak dorang balik, terus aku dok lepak depan tv tanpa mandikan dorang. tengahari aku mandi, lunch, tengok tv, baca paper, tido sampai petang. kul 4.30 bangun, coz akak aku yang lagi sorang da sampai. malam ni plan nak dinner sama-sama kat TGI Friday's. by the way, korang tau tak maksud TGI Friday's tu apa?kalau tak tau, tak pe, tapi pandai-pandai la cari maknanya sendiri ye. fast forward sampai lepas maghrib, aku da siap mandi, solat semua la,tinggal tunggu gerak je. kitorang beramai-ramai pun gerak gi sana, dalam 20 minit da sampai. ramai jugak orang, tapi nasib baik akak aku da reserved kan untuk kitorang, so ada la tempatnya untuk kitorang duduk. sambil tunggu abang aku yang sulung datang dengan family dia, kitorang pesan la food + drinks. aku order jack daniel's glazed ribs dengan mango juice. tunggu 30 minit, baru la abang aku tu sampai, terus je order. 10 minit pas tu, makanan pun start sampai, tapi yang pelik, akak ipar aku yang datang lewat tu dapat dulu. musykil tul, tapi rupa-rupanya order tu sepatutnya untuk abah aku. da nasib..bila order aku sampai, aku pun sliced-sliced kan, bagi semua orang rasa sikit. ribs tu ada 6 tulang, so aku amik 3, 3 lagi aku passed kat dorang. kalau korang tau la kan, ribs tu daging batang pinang, kira yang paling lembut + best la. pada aku memang berbaloi la makan ribs tu, sedap siot, menyesal bagi dorang rasa pun ada.huhu. seperti biasa, aku akan menghabiskan sisa-sisa makanan orang lain, macam tong sampah la gamaknya.da settle makan, ada suprise la pulak. rupa-rupanya staff TGI Friday's tu datang bawak kek untuk mak aku. mak aku da la semput, nasib baik tak terkejut, kalau tak, tak pasal-pasal sambut birthday kat hospital. mak aku tak pandai cakap english, staff TGI Friday's ni pulak ramai bukan orang malaysia, cakap english je tau. so mak aku just senyum-senyum malu, cakap no, ok, yes, apa-apa je la yang dia tau. staff TGIF suh buat short speech, tapi mak aku geleng-geleng je, last-last dia suh mak aku tutup mata, buat wish dan tiup candle. dorang pun tinggalkan kek tu, kecik je, ais krim kek untuk kitorang. bagi semua rasa sikit-sikit, lepak bagi makanan turun then buat payment. then aku ikut parents aku gi bangi, tido umah abang aku pulak. akak-akak aku, balik umah dorang. end

Malam hujung minggu

Jumaat, 19 Jun 2009 - First final exam paper english, alhamdulillah dapat buat dengan jayanya. lepas exam ada meeting nak anjurkan futsal competition. aku diberi tugas teknikal, buat schedule etc. 20 teams semuanya, tapi sebab budak-budak course aku nak main jugak, so hanya 19 teams yang register awal je la yang dapat main nanti. fast forward sampai tengahari, lunch, solat jumaat terus balik umah. melepak-lepak jap tengok tv, tiba-tiba telefon berdering. akak aku call, cakap parents aku nak datang tido sini dengan anak-anak sedara aku 3 orang. kul 5 petang akak aku call lagi, suh teman dia gi Hilton kat KL sentral. masa dalam keta aku tido coz ngantuk. sampai sana, gi beli kek untuk sambut birthday mak aku. kat dalam tu, 99% foreigner tak temasuk staff la kan. ada sorang mamat ni, besa nak mampos, mampos pun tak besa cam dia. da beli kek, balik umah, tanak nasi, aku gi mandi. lepas maghrib abah aku call, da sampai. 3o minit pastu lak, abang aku sampai, so umah jadi meriah + sempit.sebelum abang aku sampai, aku basuh baju dalam mesin, so lepas abang aku sampai, aku sidai baju sementara dorang dinner. kalau nak tunggu sorang makhluk tuhan yang dok sini nak tolong, jangan harap la. da siap sidai, aku pun dinner, aku habiskan semua lauk, yang tinggal cebis-cebis je. tapi tak pe asal aku kenyang. anak-anak sedara aku semua tido kat depan, dengan aku dan abang aku.zzzzz

Monday, June 15, 2009

Kelmarin

Sabtu, 13 Jun 2009 - hai all. nak citer pasal kelmarin ni. well, for start kelmarin ari sabtu. aku tinggal sorang. tido kul 6 pagi kot, bangun kul 12 tengahari camtu. bangun-bangun je abang aku call. ada hal nak settle, so aku cakap ok, dia suh aku tunggu kat bangi kul 4 petang. eh jap, aku rasa aku bangun kul 1.30 petang la,haha. tah la, ignore je eh. then aku mandi, solat tengok tv jap. aku makan 4 keping roti bakar taruk peanut butter lady's choice. da tu, aku terus makan je la kan. tiba-tiba aku sambung tengok tv lagi sampai leka, jeng jeng jeng da nak kul 3, so tanpa membuang masa, aku terus siap, and start enjin keta.vroommm bunyinya. dipendekkan citer, aku pun drive gi bangi. bayar tol rm 1.80 then tunggu abang aku. tengah tunggu tu, perut aku berlagu, nak memerut. aku da panik, tapi stil buat macho. tak lama lepas tu, abang aku pun sampai. dah sampai, kitaorang kena tunggu abang aku yang sulung pulak. masa tunggu tu, abang aku ni siap sempat basuh moto dia, jadi aku yang tengah pakai jin pun terpaksa la jugak tolong basuh moto. by the way, moto tu jenis yahama r1, 1000cc, moto besa. aku tak penah try bawak moto tu, coz aku tak de lesen moto klas b full. abang aku paksa gak aku try, aku rasa dia da giler suh aku bawak moto tu, tapi aku try bawak jugak. da la sakit perut, tambah lagi cuak bawak moto besa dia tu, makin memulas-mulas(bukan 'helas' aaa) isi perut aku. vroom,vroom aku bawak, tersenggut-senggut. maklumla, tak berapa pandai bawak moto besa guna clutch. first time aku bawak moto clutch pun time aku 21, moto jaguh kawan aku. tapi jaguh senang sikit nak bawak coz ringan. moto abang aku tu da la berat, tak stabil lak tu, tambah dengan inexperienced aku ni, jadi macam moto nak abis minyak. tapi nasib baik la tak ekseden walaupun aku terpusing throttle banyak, huhu. nanti-nanti la aku practice bawak moto clutch lagi. abang aku yang sulung pun datang, then settle keja, aku pun balik. sampai umah kul 8.30. penat giler tak tau napa, padahal tak wat keja apa pun. aku tido awal 10.30 da mimpi indah, mimpi apa? hanya aku dan Dia yang tahu.tengah wat S.A.D, entre & leadership, tapi otak blank.~out~

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Semalam

Jumaat,12 Jun 2009 - ari ni tak de kelas, so aku leh tido sampai tengahari. tapi disebabkan Khamis malam Jumaat aku tido awal, tetibe je ari ni aku terbangun pagi. kul 6 aku da bangun, Subuh jap, sambung tido balik. 10.30 baru betul-betul bangun. nak dijadikan cerita, aku malas nak beli sarapan kat luar, so aku kena la masak. aku masak burger special, dan special tu sebab aku yang la masak (main-main aje). burger special siap dengan telo, so jadi la burger special. mungkin bukan rezeki aku, sebijik telo yang aku da siap goreng tu leh jatuh ke lantai pulak. namun aku tak putus asa, aku amik lagi sebijik telo sebagai ganti, aku basuh dan goreng. da siap goreng telo 2 bijik, aku masak burger lak. sambil-sambil tu aku buat air, bakar roti dan tengok tv. leka tengok tv, aku lupa pasal burger kat dapur. hangus la sikit, tapi tak pe, sebab bila aku yang masak, gerenti sedap. bubuh burger atas roti bakar disapu marjerin, atas burger letak telo, atas telo letak sos banyak-banyak,huhu. aku tau air liur korang gerenti da meleleh kan?kalau tak meleleh pun, mesti menjilat je bibir tu. dipendekkan citer, aku pun makan sampai abis.fast forward, da petang. gi masjid,solat jumaat, then balik. sambung tengok tv, abg aku call. da settle hal dengan dia, sambung tengok tv lagi. petang sikit, group member untuk project management message, kata aku discussion pasal projek, tapi aku lak ada program malam tu, so 50-50. maghrib pulak, sorang lagi group member message pasal discussion, so aku cakap, aku ada program, terus je senyap. tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu, aku jadi tunggul. program cancel. parents aku suh balik kampung, akak aku pulak ajak gi ipoh, aku cakap 50-50. pas midnite tadi, group member untuk subjek lain pulak message, suh datang esok ada discussion, aku cakap 50-50. aii, banyak betul 50-50. nak dijadikan citer, aku sebenarnya da tak de idea, so aku citer apa-apa aje.

4YI

Thanks for all my loyal readers, thanks for the comments. I really appreciate your thoughts for all my posts. I haven’t been here lately to update my blog. Got this thorough and thorough mental block in mind couldn’t write anything at all. Most of you probably think that my English is good but it isn’t a fact. Honestly I wrote all my posts (in English language) using Microsoft word, so any mistakes or grammar whatsoever I can correct it before posting here. I have few foreigners friend, here and overseas that sometimes I chatted with. They told me that, my English is good as average foreigners. So for me, that’s an achievement even I didn’t get a certificate for that (kidding). What to tell? I don’t have any idea. Will be back soon, sooner or later maybe…we’ll see.

Dah lebih 2 minggu

merujuk kepada perkara di atas, eh, macam menulis surat rasmi pulak aku ni,haha. by the way, da lebih 2 minggu aku tak update blog aku ni. dengan tak idea + malas + bad mood telah menyebabkan blog ni terbengkalai buat sementara waktu. bad mood sebab aku marah kat seorang colleague aku, tapi semuanya dah settled. semuanya disebabkan oleh anasir luar yang merasuk diri aku untuk jadi marah kat colleague aku ni. pasal malas, tak payah la aku cerita, gerenti korang da tau camne aku ni. tak idea, ni la problem aku. bila aku ada idea, melambak-lambak nak cerita, bila tak de idea, satu haram pun tarak. tapi kan, aku selalu ada idea bila malam, malam macam lagu shades. masalah problem aku lak, idea datang bila aku da tutup laptop, guling-guling kat katil nak tido, so nak buka laptop balik surely da malas, nak bangun tulis dalam notebook pun malas, so dengan malasnya aku terus buat-buat tido sampai aku tido.ni nasib baik la, aku tak dapat tido, eh aku da merepek.~out~

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Aww..

nama ku apau,
now aku terlampau angau,
terpukau dan sasau,
fikiran kacau bilau,
suara ku sengau,
air limau terasa payau,
nasi ku tapau,
berlaukkan ikan kurau,
nafas berbau,
badan ku penuh panau,
kepala ku dihurung langau,
cau cin cau

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

To whom it may concern

I wish you a very happy 24th birthday. May god bless you always, no matter what you are into, anytime & anywhere. I pray that He always helps you, directs you to good things as I know that you are a very honest & kind person. I pray that you will succeed and excel in everything you do, always in the pink of health, happy with your life, be strong when you are feeling down and meet the right man for you. From my heart, I would like you to forgive the words I have said, the things that I have done, anything possible happened with or without my intentions that hurt you physically, mentally or deep inside your heart.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Aku sudah jumpa

ari ni pd pkul 1.35am cmtu, aku telah brjya mnemui laman blog dia. dia itu sapa?xprlu la korg tau,sbb klu korg tau pn, bknny korg knal dia pn.aku rsa agk hapy gmbira ska ati la jgk sbb da lma aku cri. citer yg pnjg tlah pn aku pndekkn, mnjdi abstrak. alkisahny begini...

pda suatu ari yg indah, tiada hujan, mentari mmncar cerah, (halamak, puitis giler) aku dok chit chat dgn dia. urm, erm, ehem2, dia ni dlu spouse aku, cma xsmpt kawin je lg. mklumlah, msh di bgku skolah. msa tu aku trniat dlm ati nk wt blog, tp niat aku tu sbnrny da lma brkrun, cma lmbt giler amat diprktikkn. bla tba2 aku trigt psl niat tu, aku pn ty la dia, 'syg, u ada blog x?' <-(dlm mmpi leh la ckp).dia pn jwb, 'ada abg, tp...tp blog tu utk org yg xknal syg je yg leh bca', trg dia. so aku pn kcik ati, aku ckp, 'da lah ati ni mmg asalny kcik, smpi ati syg kcikkn lg', smbl mnyeka mta yg xde kuar air mta pn. dia pn ckp, 'ala abg syg bcuk2, jgnla mjuk. syg cma xnk abg bca je, nnti trimbau plak memori kita brsma dlu', jelas dia. so aku pn trmkn pjukkn dia & ckp 'ok lah, xpe'. sblm kitorang tmtkn sesi chit chat ari tu, dia suh la aku try cri lmn blog dia tu, aku pn ckp, 'ok, nnti abg cri'.

da abis pn citer pndek yg sbnrny xpnjg mna pn. skrg ni aku da jmpa, so aku hapy, hapy go lucky smpi asgnmnt pn xwt lg. aku kna wt asgnmnt, aku msti siapkn asgmnt, tp nntila aku wt, hmm

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Don't think, just write

These days have been hard as always as if it is not difficult. Yesterday my cousin lost his daughter which I had earlier posted the matter. She was 6, but couldn’t live long enough to love and be loved. She wasn’t close enough to me but when somebody passed on, you just couldn’t shed the tears. My health has deteriorated as I kept having fever almost every after dawn, headache probably of the caffeine I took almost daily. I always play futsal with my college colleagues even if I had injuries (calf strain, twisted ankle & knee ligament damage) that haven’t healed yet. Football is my life, in my blood, that’s why I guess I couldn’t resist the temptation of playing. I miss the times playing on the field but maybe it doesn’t suit me anymore. I went back to my hometown almost every weekend this month driving my parents back to our home, but not this week as I have loads & loads of works to be done. I haven’t written for more than 3 weeks, until the day before yesterday as I couldn’t get the ideas in my head to be interpreted in my blog. I don’t like to copy paste subjects or topics just to update my blog, so you all have just to wait when the time comes. This blog have been my best non living friend and where I think I can tell all. Speaking about myself, my life, my self expression and else. The black template means that I have dark secret, a mystery entity in me. If you willing to listen to the songs, you will know that I always felt lonely, insecure and sometimes explosive. That’s all for now, will be back for more.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Andai tiada lagi waktu untukku

Andai tiada lagi waktu untukku...
berjenaka untuk mengembalikan senyuman di wajahmu,
memberikan senyuman yang menyamankan jiwamu,
bermadah untuk melembutkan hatimu,
mencurahkan kasih sayang dan cintaku padamu,
andai tiada lagi aku,
rinduilah kenanganmu bersamaku,
redhailah kau melepaskanku,
doakan lah pemergianku,
tabahkan lah hati dan teruskan kehidupanmu,
kita kan bertemu di lain waktu,
kan ku nanti saat itu,
di sana, kita akan bersatu

Satu Pemergian

Pada 19 Mei 2009, sebelum tengahari, anak saudara sepupu ku telah pergi menghadap Ilahi. Allahyarhamah baru saja berusia 6 tahun, tapi tuhan ternyata lebih sayangkannya lebih dari keluarga sendiri. Semoga pemergiannya dicucuri rahmat dan dijanjikan tempat di syurga Firdaus. Moga dapat kita jadikan pedoman setiap yang hidup pasti akan pergi jua. Sedekahkanlah Al-Fatihah untuk Allahyarhamah....Al-Fatihah

Monday, May 18, 2009

18th title

'Borang Permohonan'

Dengan ini, saya menutup segala permohonan untuk menjadi teman wanita saya. Terima kasih kepada semua yang memohon, saya akan menjalankan sesi penapisan calon-calon yang sesuai

Friday, April 24, 2009

7 perkara ajaib & pelik tentang lelaki

1.knp lelaki ska buah prempuan?
2.knp lelaki ska main blakang?
3.lelaki plg ska korek,tp korek ada mcm2 korek,korek apa agkny?
4.kbykkn lelaki ska main bola,tp..
5.lelaki plg sng ckp i luv u,tp..
6.lelaki ni kebiasaanny xbiasa luar biasa,tp..
7.kesahihan 6 ktrangan di atas

i.pdhal dorg pn ada jgk
ii.pdhal dorg bkn ska pndg blakang pn
iii.korek rhsia la
iv....ada jg yg main bola lain
v....plg ssh ckp i'm sorry
vi....bila da biasa,rsa xluar biasa pun
vii....lu pikir la sndri

Tah apa2,aku xde idea

mekasih suma yg tlah mengomen blog ini. rsa terharu huru-hara gamaknya. tp yg dkesalkn,np xde komen2 yang mengusik hati jiwa naluri perasaan ini kt post yg dtulis dlm english. agk kcewa yg tramat sgtla jgk,cz rsny post2 itu suma mnarik tali prtalian yg tlah djalinkn smnjk anda suma memollow blog ini. slps ini,dwjibkn la,bg anda2 suma yg mmbca post2 english tu,utk mengomen skaligus asparagus blaja english tnpa krelaan anda suma. mntk ampun maaf dr hjg rmbut ikal mygku ini,ke kuku jari kakiku ini,andai trslah bcara kta memeningkn kpala,akal utk mntrjemahkn sgala yg trsirat di post ini. buat follower2 hardcore, tggu, tggu post yg brikutny,psti gmpak trcmpak hak3 utk dbca

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Comment Tab

Referring to the above matter, I wish to apologize for the inconvenience with the comment tab. With gratitude to my fellow follower, Faezlyn and Fieza, I wish to thank both of them publicly for telling me that the comment tab is not fully functioning. It is a sad note for me that you all, my dearest readers cannot leave your comments due to this unnoticed, slightest and simple fault. But looking to the bright side, you all now can comment freely. I’m looking forward to read all your comments. Thank you

Friday, April 17, 2009

Pantun suka-suki

assalamualaikum, pembuka bicara,
bila dah buka puasa, lega rasanya,
mai sini semua, mai baca,
dah baca, komenla ya

muka bujur, rambut ikal,
misai nipis,mata coklat,
hobi aku main futsal,
watch out,aku nak rembat!

ke sungai memancing ikan,
dapat banyak pulak tu,
aku tau la aku ni tampan,
aku saja je buat tak tahu.

pergi chow kit, mencari pondan,
pondan dicari, untuk dilanggan,
wei,apa dah tak ada lagi ke perempuan,
yang boleh dijadikan teman?

bercinta aku, untuk dicinta,
bukan sekadar saja-saja,
bila dah jumpa,sungguh bahagia,
bila berpisah,tak sudah merana.

aku sedang ingin bercinta,
masih mencari yang dinanti,
bila aku dah jumpa,
aku kunci dia dalam hati.

hitam putih warna ku suka,
milo dan neslo penghilang dahaga,
yang terasa jangan terluka,
aku sengaja suka-suka.

banyak berfikir,pening kepala,
hati tetap belum terubat,
sampai disini saja la ya,
tamat.

Borang Permohonan

Perhatian: Untuk wanita yang berumur di antara 18-24 tahun sahaja. Sila isi borang permohonan di bawah dan kemudian hantarkan bersama gambar berukuran paspot anda ke emel(apauzan@gmail.com) untuk penapisan calon-calon yang mungkin akan dijadikan teman wanita saya.

Nama:
Umur:
Alamat:
Tarikh Lahir:
Tempat Lahir:
Tinggi:
Berat:
No telefon:
Emel:
Bangsa:
Agama:
Warganegara:
Hobi:
Cita-cita:
Pekerjaan:
Gaji:
Makanan Kegeraman:
Minuman Kegeraman:
Warna Kegeraman:
Ukuran Badan:
Latar Belakang Pendidikan:
Kelulusan/Kelayakan:
Adakah anda pandai memasak?
*sila senaraikan lauk-pauk yang anda pandai masak
Adakah anda pandai membuat minuman?
*sila senaraikan jenis-jenis minuman yang anda pandai buat
Adakah anda merokok? Ya/Tidak
Adakah anda minum minuman beralkohol? Ya/Tidak
Keperluan anda:
Cinta, wang ringgit, kasih sayang, rumah besar, kereta mewah, suami yang tampan, anak, makanan/minuman yang cukup, pakaian, barang kemas dan sebagainya.
*Sila susun mengikut kepentingan anda
*Anda boleh membuat karangan mengenai diri anda

Tarikh tutup permohonan adalah pada 17 Mei 2009
Segala pertanyaan sila hubungi saya di emel yang tertera di atas

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Free poetry

Many stories to tell, a book should I compile?

Hey there, what’s up?
I here, just woke up.

Brush my teeth, take my bath,
Do my prayers, and few other things lah.

Getting ready to go for classes,
Ride my bike, wearing my glasses.

Here I am, at my college,
Oh yeah, I arrived late.

Class have started, feeling sleepy,
Hasn’t breakfast, very hungry.

Jot down notes, actually drawing,
Hard to focus, damn I’m trying.

Went to the toilet, taking a pee,
Stay for a while, doing nothing to be exactly.

Class has finish, but not the credit crunch,
Went to the mamak’s, having a little lunch.

My stomach feel full, but felt okay,
Go to basement, just to pray.

Another class to attend, but not at the basement,
Suddenly end, in just a blip of few second.

Ride my bike, going home,
Here I am, home alone.

Feeling sleepy, but not yet,
Watching tv, full of craps.

Log in MySpace, ym & Skype,
Play with my rakun, simultaneously chat.

Doing homework, in a hurry,
Because I’m start to feel tired already.

It’s already late, I’m calling it a day,
Good night, have a nice day.

Aku lemah tanpamu

Aku rasa sungguh lemah tanpamu, tolong jangan tinggal daku.
Aku perlu kamu, untuk mengembalikan senyumanku.
Aku menggunakanmu, untuk membuatku merasa lebih bertenaga.
Aku rindu kamu, untuk mengisi ruang batinku.
Aku cinta kamu, kamu menjadikan aku lelaki hebat.
Aku sanggup buat apa saja untuk mendapatkanmu.
Aku sanggup membayar wang untuk membelimu.
Aku sanggup berlari untuk mengecapimu.
Aku sanggup dahaga untuk merasai kenikmatanmu.
Aku lemah tanpamu, my 100 plus. ;-)

Saturday, April 11, 2009

2 minggu

2 minggu paling panjang pernah aku rasa, semuanya gara-gara sakit mata. Tapi sekarang mata aku dah hampir sembuh, so minggu depan, insyaAllah aku akan kembali ke kelas mentelaah pelajaran yang jauh ditinggalkan. Kebanyakan hari dalam masa 2 minggu ni,aku cuma dok di rumah, tak berani nak keluar coz mata kabur tak nampak jalan. Rabu lepas ni pun, aku pergi klinik kejap, cuci mata. Punya la sakit, tak dapat aku gambarkan. 2 kali aku buat treatment, sakitnya tuhan saja yang tahu. Setiap kali lepas treatment, aku perlukan masa lebih kurang 20min untuk buka mata, dapat tengok dengan keadaan yang ok untuk bawak moto. Masa aku menulis ni pun mata aku kabur lagi, tapi sebab da lama aku tak update blog, kosong je rasanya input kat sini, so aku paksakan diri jugak. Hopefully aku akan sembuh before kelas start balik minggu depan. Member-member yang ajak aku main futsal pun terpaksa aku tolak, sebab tak sembuh lagi, so aku amat merindui aksi di gelanggang futsal, aku rindu, aku perlu.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Barang siapa paling panjang

Teringat aku pada satu kisah masa lalu, ketika aku masih di bangku sekolah rendah. Masa tu ada perkhemahan pengakap daerah Kota Tinggi, semua sekolah di Kota Tinggi menghantar wakil, tidak kiralah sekolah rendah atau menengah. Sekolah aku mengambil bahagian dalam pertandingan kawad kaki, dan aku lah komandannya. Kitaorang menang kawad kaki peringkat sekolah rendah dan aku dengan hidung tinggi (yang sebenarnya tak tinggi pun) mengambil hadiah. Kisah yang aku nak cerita bukan pasal pertandingan kawad kaki tu, sebab dah nama pun johan, so mestilah mantap disiplin kitaorang. Nak dijadikan cerita, malam lepas kitaorang menang kawad kaki, cikgu kitaorang, cikgu I dengan cikgu Z buat 1 permainan. Nama permainan ni ‘barang siapa paling panjang’. Korang mesti da pikir bukan-bukan kan? Rileks, permainan ni bukan permainan yang lucah or yang keterlaluan. So, aku teruskan dengan cerita permainan ni. Permainan ni simple aje, kitaorang kena gunakan segala apa yang ada kat badan kitaorang, termasuk tubuh badan kitaorang untuk buat satu garisan memanjang. Sapa yang jaraknya pendek, akan didenda. So sapa yang pakai tebal, banyak baju, aksesori mempunyai banyak kelebihan la kan. Tanpa buang masa kitaorang pun susun barang masing-masing, ada yang sampai pakai suar dalam je, termasuk la aku. Lepas kitaorang siap susun suma barang, cikgu pun tengok la barang sapa yang paling pendek. Dalam 10 orang yang kena, aku pun termasuk dalam golongan tu jugak. Macam-macam alasan kitaorang bagi untuk tak didenda, tapi akhirnya kena jugak. Dendanya, kitaorang kena gi kat 3 point di deretan khemah-khemah pengakap sekolah lain dan cakap kuat-kuat, ‘barang saya pendek’, sampai la muka kitaorang dah naik merah dibuatnya. Itulah permainan yang terkelakar penah aku main, stil ingat sampai sekarang coz itulah antara kenangan paling manis masa aku di sekolah rendah.

Monday, April 6, 2009

At last

It's been a while since I last update my blog. I'm still recovering from conjunctivitis on both eyes. I wrote this just after watching my favorite team, Manchester United won 3-2 in a thrilling match with Aston Villa. With credit, Villa does deserve a point at least, but football is always football. You cannot cave in before the final whistle blows. With Rooney and Vidic suspended, Brown, Ferdinand and Berbatov out injured, United are well short of quality players, but they have proof that they have the strength in depth. With Neville back from hamstring problem, an inspirational captain has restored. They need someone like Keane, Schmeichel and Cantona to bark them out, as does so with Neville. But as always, their passing was their main weakness to exploit, and with speedy players such Young and Ablongahor (if I spell it correct), Villa does well to cause problems with counter attacks. United took the lead, as a back pass form Milner to Friedel cost them, as with resulting free kick, Ronaldo put United 1-0 with an angled shot. But as complacent creep in United side, Villa managed to equalized after a good work from Barry to crossed the ball for Carew to head in. At half time, it was a stalemate. After the restart, both sides went for glory trying everything possible to put the ball back of the opposition’s net. But Villa nicked in the goal to be 1-2 up. This time Carew the provider, with Ablongahor produced the finishing touch. United does played poorly in the game for much of the time, but with the introduction of the unknown striker from Italy, Macheda, brought a positive reaction to the United squad. He got a touch before Ronaldo slotted in a low left-footed shot before grabbing the winner at the death. The title is still very much alive, but with European fixtures next on the line, it surely makes things more exciting. Few bumps before and now the team has believed in themselves again (hope that's true). We’ll see how the team does from now on.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Speak my mind

This is a very sensitive and dangerous topic to talk about, because of the way our country being ran by our government leaders, but I’m just making an egalitarian statement about it. I think I need to speak and be heard. I'm neither a political analyst nor politician, but I see myself as a person who thinks there should be a drastic change in this situation. As UMNO election passed by, and the leaders has been picked, I’m very astonished that some of the leaders which has some controversial issue had been selected. They said that they have grass roots support, but what does it means? And what about Khairy Jamaluddin that had been instigated of money politics being give a head on to challenge for UMNO Youth head post? Why does Rahim Tambi Chik and some other politician being dropped for the post but not Khairy. I think that 'there are wheels within wheels' in that matter. I'm not being sarcastic or parochial, but i think the results are known long before it being published because there powerful and hidden influences beneath. It is not apt to say about 1 party, as other parties too are in shambolic situation. Take an example of PKR's leader, Anwar Ibrahim. He said a lot, but in reality check, not much has happened. Another example is the accusation for being into having unnatural sex with a guy, whether it’s true or not, it is very disgusting. Further to say, the parliament meeting which has been telecast live for some time, our 'respectable' leaders disputed in much hotly debated. There are a lot name calling and words that is used by no brainers. Things are getting worse and worse every day passed by. Corruption, sex scandals, power abused etc is taking its toll on the people. I read an article by Husam Musa which is very interesting. He said that our government is lying to us. There aren’t any shortages of gas and the oil price is not dependable on the oil price market. The subsidies being given are a lot shorter than said and we are paying more than ever just to let the government spend, but on what? There aren’t any proofs unless somebody in the financial department that is brave enough, come out and make things clear. Some of the candidates elected don’t deserve their spot. I don’t think Najib and Khairy has the ability to lead our government, as same goes with Pak Lah, which almost seen him as the weakest link, a weak leader. These politicians while some of them work hard to fulfill their promises to the voters deserve a credit based on their merit and performances, but some of them are more likely to chase popularity, money and the most important thing, power. This leads to disharmony among our people because some of them abuse the power to give richness to their close related person. It is unfair to other applicants of the projects tendered. While these person abuse their power, many accusation made to bring them down, which is almost impossible because of lack of proof and the use of ISA. I have spoken my mind today, and I hope I get some feedback on this. We have different opinions maybe, but the truth will only be justified when people act to proof it.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The political situation in Malaysia

This is a very sensitive and dangerous topic to talk about, because of the way our country being ran by our government leaders, but i'm just making an egalitarian statements about it. I think i need to speak and be heard. I'm not a political analyst nor politician, but i see myself as a person who think there should be a drastic change in this situation. As UMNO election passed by, and the leaders has been picked, i'm very astonished that some of the leaders which has controversially selected. They said that they have grass roots support, but what does it means? And what about Khairy Jamaluddin that had been instigated of money politics being give a head on to challenge for UMNO Youth head post? Why does Rahim Tambi Chik and some other politician being dropped for the post but not Khairy. I think that 'there are wheels within wheels' in that matter. I'm not being sarcastic or parochial, but i think the results are known long before it being published because there powerful and hidden influences beneath. It is not apt to say about 1 party, as other parties too are in shambolic situation. Take an example of PKR's leader, Anwar Ibrahim. He said a lot, but in reality check, not much has happened. Another example, the accusation for being into having unnatural sex with a guy, whether its true or not, it is very disgusting. Further to say, the parliament meeting which has been telecast live for some time, our 'respectable' leaders disputed in much hotly debated. There are a lot name calling and words that is used by no brainers. Things are getting worse and worse every day passed by. Corruption, sex scandals, power abused etc are taking its toll on the people. I read an article by Husam Musa which is very interesting. he said that