Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Kereta...(entah apa-apa)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A-Z
Apau itu aku, anak bongsu
Bukan nama sebenar, buncit
Carila sendiri, Championship Manager
Dah dapat bagitau
Expresi-diriku, ek eleh
F***** namaku
Garang, geli-geli
Hati kristal, hati batu, hati-hati di jalan raya
Itu fakta, insyaAllah
Jadi diriku, jangan bilang tidak
Kapten bola sepak SAKTI, keras kepala
Lack of focus, lack of confidence and concentration
MAHER@pengawas sekolah, mobsters
Ntah, Nadia(2 orang adik angkatku)
Ohm, member kamceng waktu sekolah
Pendendam, perasan
Qwerty keyboard laptopku
Resah gelisah
Sunyi, sepi, sedih, S******(nama late xgf), sepet, sensitif, serabai, sempoi, selambe
Tanpa cinta, tough
Ulat bulu dah naik daun.., usaha lebey(ditujukan kepada yang berkenaan)
Valiant, vicodin
W**** nama bapaku, whatever perkataan ku suka, warcraft
X-ray tulang tibiaku retak
Yawn..
Zzzzz
Am i haunted?
Last night I couldn’t sleep, felt like something’s wrong. It’s damn cold, even without the fan switch on, I’m freezing. I had a dream bout my late ex-gf last week. I couldn’t tell bout it exactly as it was too shallow for me to remember. She was standing there, unmoved by my presence. Cold and pale as if she was just woken up from the dead. She ain’t looking at me, I wonder why. Thought it was because she hated me so much for the things I did to her. She’s still wondering up here in my mind. Guilt is probably the word that makes me still can’t brush her away from my memory. Haven’t forgiven myself for what I did to her. With final project thesis due end if this month, still stuck at chapter 1. These days with hectic and disarray schedule, pending subject just started, final exam just concluded, lack of focus and confidence, wish I can just graduated straight away.
P/s referring to my ‘yesterday’ post, the girl is not my x-schoolmate.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
What a bullshit?
Haven't update you for a while, so sorry that I’m kind of busy and got no idea to write although there's many thing happened to me the whole week before. Tomorrow I got ISWO final exam, and the next day I’ll be starting my Linux classes which has been put on hold due to KLMU's management problem(s). I’d planned to go back to my hometown after the exam, but due to this matter, I need to stay back until it’s cuti-cuti Malaysia (eh silap, Hari Raya Haji holiday), damn bullshit, isn’t it? Well, that’s for now, going to do some revision, although feeling very dizzy and sleepy.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tuesday's morning
This morning I went to ISWO class, a little bit late, but better late than never, right? Got the tips for final exam paper next week, and submit the assignment given. Took morning tea break at the Mishan’s with Alee & Karun, simultaneously thinking of having lunch altogether. Having 2nd thought, and changed my mind, lunch at my foster mum’s café at EON’s. There’s her granddaughter, Malay mix nigga genes, and I took her in my arms. Mariam@Maryam (don’t know which way they spelled it), she’s dark, with curly hair and got big eyes. Gave her milk in the bottle after had my lunch, and she’s like falling asleep. Cuddled her close to my chest to comfort and make her warm, but suddenly she’s awake. Try to feed her milk, but she didn’t want to, and started disgruntled. Her granny took her from me, and tries to feed her some soft biscuit, but she started to throw up. I like kids, and I wonder when I’ll have my own. My foster mum, her daughter and few of my friends told me that I looked like a father, I wish too…
Last Night
Last night, my friend and I went to Ampang Sports Planet to play futsal for 2 hours against his friends plus a few foreigners. Physically and fitness aspect, we were totally outmatched by the foreigners but technically and strategically, we’re even. I didn’t play well in attacking mode as my shots always and always went astray. I’m quite upset with my performance but I did very well when defending, that’s probably because I’m a naturally defensive kind of player. It was a very tiring night but enjoyed the game. The consequence of playing the match is getting a recurrence ankle problem (slightly twisted, but bad), aggravated knee injury (ligament and knock), back injury (slipped disc during last year KLMU’s sports carnival and etc. I’ll be playing as long as I could, even when my playing style has made my body takes it toll, because I love this game, once dreamt of playing for the national side, and still. Going to have my dinner, see ya soon
Yesterday
I was just taking my bath when suddenly I remembered about something that happened yesterday. I was going to English class at 2pm just after having my lunch at EON cafeteria. when going up on the lift to level 4, I saw a girl who I thought was my x-schoolmate, I asked her if she got class, but then she gave me a 'look', and her friend behind her also gave me a 'look', then I’m having a thought, is she or isn't she my x-schoolmate? I’m damn sure that she’s my x-schoolmate, but the problem is, she never answer my question, and her friend and she gave me a ‘look’, so now I’m not pretty sure if she’s my x-schoolmate. I felt a little bit embarrassed, but I just played a macho guy, hehe.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Nyum-nyum
p/s mls nk ejas pics
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Well-written but not well-spoken
I’ve been writing in English for a while, and I’m glad that people told me that I’ve improved a lot. It’s very flattering and nice compliment when it comes especially from your English lecturer. Thanks to my father who has been an imperial figure who taught me English when I was still so young. He asked me to read NSTP rather than Metro or Berita Harian. It has proven that by only reading papers (with the help of dictionary, of course), and lots of it, you can be very good at English. I consider myself as just above average, I’m still learning, new words, how to use it in certain sentences. But I think that I’m just good when writing, not orally. The day that I had my mock interview with Sir Mus, I was kind of nervous. I couldn’t speak as the words wouldn’t come out or maybe I’m just whispering at the time. It’s irritate me that day before the interview, I was feeling confident and had the ideas to answer to questions asked, but unfortunately it hasn’t been good as expected. I’m very upset with my performance, really because I knew that I could do hell lot better. Out of words, be back later. Bye
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Anger management
Hey there, my name is apau, I’m an anger prone person. I think that I need to join an anger management program. I need to control my anger before it brings me down. There are a lot of people who don’t know how bad it is when I’m in rage. The probably first thing I would do when I’m mad at someone is just keep quiet to myself, do my own thing or just stay in my room. I had once thrown a butter knife to my sister, smacked my brother with a chair and shout to people mostly when it comes to some disagreement. I don’t know what to say, but I really hate myself when realizing that I force people away, before noticing that I’m lonely. Many people have tried to help me contain my fury, they gave me advices that I hold for moments only. It’s damn hard for me to change my attitude simultaneously losing friends. I don’t talk to people about my problems though I wrote only to you. You are probably the best virtual mate I have now, because I can expressed all my feelings, without you saying it’s bad or good, whether it’s right or wrong. I never had a tell-all friend that I can share problems with, enjoy or suffer, during good or bad days, I just have me and myself to talk to. Got to go, I have few things to get done. See ya later, my blog..